Insane Charity Bike Ride 2019!


In six days, I strap a duck onto my bike helmet, and hit Bike the barns – possibly better known, to my readers, as Insane Charity Bike Ride 2019.

Bike the Barns helps the FairShare CSA Coalition bring fresh, organic food from Dane County, WI, farms to low-income families in the Madison area.

It’s an amazing local charity, helping farmers as well as low-income families.

The Army of Dorkness (this means YOU!) has become hugely important to this campaign, raising $75,000 over the past six years! You all are AMAZING!

In the meantime, I’ve biked more than 360 miles because of you people!

This year, you maniacs passed the initial $10,000 goal. You also blew away the $11,000 stretch goal – so I have to wear the tentacles this year, once more.

There are two stretch-goals left:

$12,500 – Phil Masters will update his rules for Muskrat player characters in Dungeons and Dragons (published in DRAGON magazine), from 3.5 to 5thedition! This will go out as a PDF to all backers!

$15,000 – I will do the bike ride with two ducks on my head – a Duck of Doom, and a Duck of Gloom. Is this attainable? Who knows. I’ve never had to ride with two ducks, so this could be a first!

As usual, there’s swag – some great, great swag!

So…do it to help a wonderful charity.

Or do it for the swag.

Or do it to make me wear another duck on a stupid long bike ride!

There’s no wrong answer, really.


The FairShare CSA Coalition is a registered charity, and donations are tax-deductible.

1) ANY and EVERY pledge will get a pdf of the limericks Neil Freaking Gaiman and Patrick FreakingRothfuss created for the ride (in 2014 and 2015), illustrated by me. PLUS, a pdf copy of both charity coloring books I drew.


2) Any pledge $25 or more gets a brand-new, signed MUNCHKIN CHARITY POSTCARD! Created exclusively for donors of this ride, this will let you start one game of Munchkin at Level 3. AS WELL AS THIS, you’ll also get a signed Admiral Ackbeer mini-print! And, of course, the PDF limericks and coloring books.


3) Any pledge $50 will get all of the above, plus a unique-to-this-ride new ARMY OF DORKNESS Sergeant button! (Image coming soon).


4) Any pledge $125 will get all of the above, plus this year’s GAMEHOLE CON plushie – the Displacer Beast!  (4 of 10 left)


5) A pledge of $175 will get you this year’s postcard, plus all six previous Charity postcards! I came across a stash of a few, from years You also get the button, (6 of 15 left)

6) A pledge of $250 will get you this year’s postcard, the Sergeant button, and an ORIGINAL PIECE OF MUNCHKIN CARD ART.A charity donation is the only way you can get original Munchkin art from : I don’t sell original Munchkin card art. But you can be one of life’s winners  (and I only choose my favorite pieces to send to folks). The art will be from a classic Munchkin core set or supplement. You also get the button, and this year’s postcard.

(Munchkin Artwork that went to 2017’s Bike the Barns supporters.)


7) A $500 pledge gets the NEARLY complete set of Gamehole Con plushies from the last four years! The Owlbear is long sold-out, sadly – but we’re replacing it with the OWLBEAR BACKPACK, which will come stuffed with the Bulette (2016), the Mimic (from 2017) the Otyugh (from 2018) and 2019’s new DISPLACER BEAST (SO cute!!) Plus, a piece of Munchkin art, the current postcard, and all six previous postcards.  (3 of 10 remaining).


8) A $1,500 pledge means EITHER (a) I will paint a cartoon portrait of you, and/or your family (up to five members), and/or your pets, either digitally (for use on cards, etc.) or physical  (acrylics on canvas, 14″ x 16″ or larger). Or (b) You get to star in an original DORK TOWER comic, and also get to keep the original artwork! You also get a piece of Munchkin art, the current postcard, and all five previous postcards.   (2 of 4 remaining)


9) A $2,000 pledge means you or a loved one can be drawn onto a Munchkin card that will actually be used in a published game. We’ll talk about what kind of card you’d like to be on, and I’ll work with you to make sure it’s something you love.  (1 of 1 remaining)


So there you go!

Six days left, for an amazing local charity that depends on the Army of Dorkness!

Do it for charity, do it for the swag, or just do it for the duck!

Anything and everything helps, even if it’s just spearing the word!

– John




Copyright 2024 Dork Storm Press