The Only Spam Haiku I could get out of Today’s Spam
(Depending on Whether you Pronounce “Failure” “Fai-u-lar” or not)

By John Kovalic, and his Spammers

Girl takes down five guys
baby borned with two privates
failure notice

Well, Apart From This One, If You’re Gonna Be Pedantic About It
By John Kovalic, and his Spammers

failure notice
baby borned with two privates
Girl takes down five guys

****

Good lord…is it really Monday already?

It was an amazing weekend, for a number of reasons.

Friday was Dr. Beth’s birthday – she of Team Blink. So the gang went to watch the Madison Mallards play the arch-rival Wisconsin Woodchucks.

Well, my pal Phillip needed some help pulling a fast one over my great friend (and his girlfriend) Dory. Dory is known to have more than a little Nancy Drew in her (along with a healthy dose of Dolly Levi, but that’s another post). Thus we needed something that wouldn’t raise any suspicions whatsoever. So here’s the set-up: Phillip and I conferred with some Mallards staff folks, and got everything squared away. I then told Dory that she and I were going to play “Name That Tune” on the field, in-between the fourth and fifth innings (the Mallards are big on mid-inning promotions and entertainment).

I then handed Phillip my camera, and said, loudly and obviously, “Here…come along and take some pictures of this.

So the three of us proceeded onto the field, where…

Phillip pops the question and Dory realizes what’s happening!

Dory says “yes!” (Thank goodness).

All together now: Awwwwwwwwwww!

Walking back to the Duck Blind (a party area at the ballpark)

Our gang: The Todd, Scotty and Dr. Beth (the Lovely and talented Judith, and Todd’s wife Sarah, are apparently ducking (no pun intended)).

Some Johnnny-on-the-Spot Jeweler gives Phillip his card. Now that’s fast!

The happy couple.

Bottom line: I did a good deed, AND now know what it’s like to get booed by a crowd of 7,499 people! (I’d have said 7,500, but Judith assures me she didn’t boo.)

(Many thanks to Dossy Shiobara for providing the YouTube-Fu).

****

Someone brought one of my books to the ballpark, knowing I hang out there in the summer. It was VERY cool to sign a copy of “Attack of the Editorial Cartoonists” in front of Mallards staff while organizing the engagement stunt. I just wish Judith could have seen it!

****

Later in the game, a young kid was leaving, sad that he hadn’t gotten a baseball from the players.

“Hey, guys!” I shouted, to a group of Woodchucks near the fence. “Swap you some bratwurst for a ball for this kid here!”

Number 32 underhanded a ball to me, and I passed it on to the kid, who was ecstatic.

“Oh, my god,” I excalimed, to my pal Scotty. “There is NOTHING I can’t do today. What do you want? Ask me! Ask me anything! I’ll make it happen!”

“I want a Mallards jersey,” said Scott.

“Oh, MAN,” I replied. “Scott – you BLEW it! You could have asked for WORLD PEACE, but instead, you went for the Mallards jersey!”

“In his defense, they ARE pretty nice jerseys,” noted The Todd.

****

Alcohol MAY have been involved in the above exchange.

***

Here’s a better shot of that CONvergence Guest of Honor badge Chris Jones drew for me.

We both think it should be a cover for a Dr. Blink issue.

I especially like the hourly rates.

- John

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