Friday’s Daily Reporter ‘toon:

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And a nice e-mail with a cautionary tale:

Comments: I love the current strip series. I’ve encountered far too many gamers that had only passing familiarity with personal hygiene, if even that. I had a friend, a fellow gamer, that I had invited to play in a game that I was running. Sadly, Bob (names have been changed – John) was one of those that, dead to his own olfactory assault, failed to note the effect his odor had on others. The words “rancid polecat” were voiced by several of the other gamers in the group. I tried dropping subtle hints to Bob… then some not-so-subtle hints. Finally, I had to tell him in words as direct as the English language could hold. “Bob , unwashed bodies stink. Your body is unwashed. Your body stinks. If you wish to continue in my game, you will bathe. With hot water. And soap. You will apply these to your entire body, and use shampoo on your hair. You will then clothe yourself in clothes that have been washed, and have not been worn since.”

It was very painful to have to tell this to a friend, but it needed to be told. I’ve long suspected that many of these odorific gamers are doing this as a means to ward off employment. Tom was a twenty-something that still lived with his parents, had no job. He had no driver’s license, which limited his ability to get work. I’m quite certain that had he wished to learn, he could have gotten a license quite easily. Going into a place of employment with no means of transportation, wearing filthy clothes that had been slept in for weeks and smelling to high heaven, usually doesn’t result in getting a job. That, I think, was his plan. This way, he could tell his folks that he had looked for work, but no one was hiring.

So, this leaves the overgrown fledgeling still in the nest, sponging off his parents, and with ample time for leisure activities like gaming. Provided, of course, that the other gamers have no sense of smell.

In the Air Force, we knew of a guy that had an aversion to soap and water. He’d go into the shower area, and sit on a bench near the shower. I think he believed that proximity to water was sufficient for his needs. After a time, he’d get up and head back to his room, and put on the same clothes he’d worn for days on end. It was said his pants not only stood up on their own, but would run to greet him when he walked in. One night, a number of his fellow airmen crept into his dorm room with lengths of rope and some duct tape. They tied him up, taped his mouth shut, and dragged him into the shower. They then proceeded to forcibly scrub him down with stiff bristle brushes until his skin shown clean and pink, having removed several layers of dirt, grime, and skin cells. I believe they burned his clothes, since they were too far gone for rescue. The lesson was not lost upon this young airman.

I commend Igor on his campaign, and I support his efforts. Perhaps Igor could use the lesson above for the more recalcitrant gamers.

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Question of the day: why IS it that some gamers (or Trekkies, or LARPers) find it acceptable to stink beyond the ken of human experience? Especally with soap and water so abundant? What do you think is…Behind the Funk?

Got your own stinky stories?

Many replies at the LiveJournal blog.

John

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