Muskrat Ramblings
Here there be BAAARS
posted by John

How is my morning going, you ask?

Here. Let’s play “Follow John’s Tweets.” (https://twitter.com/muskrat_john)

A bear was spotted in Waunakee a week ago. I think it visited us last night. A BEAR. http://yfrog.com/28v9uj
about 2 hours ago via Twitterrific

Did I mention…A FRAKING BEAR? http://yfrog.com/0r8s5dj http://yfrog.com/cbnqfqj http://yfrog.com/0uy2snj
about 2 hours ago via Twitterrific

That birdfeeder pole is over an inch thick…AND NOW BENT AT THE GROUND. http://yfrog.com/0h18505699j http://yfrog.com/743aodj
about 2 hours ago via Twitterrific

Yeah…sorry I’ll be late to the studio this morning. Gotta deal with a BEAR THAT WAS IN MY BACK YARD…
about 2 hours ago via Twitterrific

It was a black bear, which I’m told “isn’t so bad.” I’m sorry, did someone forget that “black bear” STILL HAS THE FRAKING WORD “BEAR” IN IT?
about 2 hours ago via Twitterrific

An ant problem “isn’t so bad.” A chipmunk problem “isn’t so bad.” A gopher problem “isn’t so bad.” A BEAR PROBLEM IS *BAD*!
about 2 hours ago via Twitterrific

What does it say about you people that more than one of you have responded, giving me a bear’s HIT POINTS…? #notreassuring
about 1 hour ago via Twitterrific

What good is having a cat in the house if it won’t get rid of the bears? I ask you…
about 1 hour ago via Twitterrific

Department of Natural Resources’ advice on dealing with bears, summarized: “Don’t be so tasty.”
about 1 hour ago via Twitterrific

I find the DNR’s advice on bears suspect, as at no point does it cover Pick-a-nick Baskets…
about 1 hour ago via Twitterrific

RT @fizzlefozzle – Why not get a bigger bear?
about 1 hour ago via Twitterrific

As @tenzochris noted, animal escalation rarely turns out well. Ask the old woman who swallowed a horse.
about 1 hour ago via Twitterrific

To spite the bear, I am putting EXTRA HONEY in my breakfast smoothie this morning. Yeah, you heard me right, bear! FRAK YOU, BEAR!
about 1 hour ago via Twitterrific

Animals are more scared of us than we are of them. Up to the point they realize we’re meaty and delicious…
40 minutes ago via Twitterrific

Safely at the downtown studio. No bears sighted on premises. Yet.
1 minute ago via web

Worst part of the bear incident? Now have the theme from “The Hair Bear Bunch” stuck in my head…
half a minute ago via web

- John

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